What I've experienced about therapy, personally and professionally, is that therapy is as much about owning one's own part in the past. Sometimes that is as simple as realizing that we were a child and had no other ways to cope at that time. Then we forgive ourselves and others. Forgiveness is the conscious deliberate process of releasing negative feelings of anger, disappointment, hurt, rage, and vengeance, regardless of whether they deserve our forgiveness. We deserve the inner peace and the release of harmful negative emotions that forgiveness brings so that we can become free to live life now. 

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Forgiveness isn’t about excusing or condoning inappropriate behaviors, or denying the seriousness of the offenses, nor does it obligate you to reconcile with people who have harmed you or release them from legal responsibility. What forgiveness does is allow you to let go of your deeply held negative feelings so they are no longer harming us physically and mentally. When we recognize the pain that we have suffered without letting it continue to define us, we are no longer numbing that pain. When we numb our pain, we numb our joy. By forgiving ourselves and others we become empowered enabling ourselves to heal, to feel joy, and to move on more productively with our lives.