When “Rose-Colored Glasses” Become Red Flags in Recovery
- Empowering To Thrive
- Jul 29
- 4 min read
Updated: 22 hours ago
As already mentioned in a previous blog, "Rose-colored glasses" experiences can deeply affect how we perceive our past, present, and even our future in our recovery journey. Here's what you may want or need to know when looking at present time perceptions that will be your stepping stones in recovery.
"Rose-colored glasses" is an idiom that describes an overly optimistic or idealized perception of something, often to the point of ignoring negative aspects or difficulties.
Essentially, when someone wears "rose-colored glasses" they see everything through a filter that makes it appear better, more pleasant, or more hopeful than it might actually be in reality.
Here's a breakdown of what it implies:
Optimism: A generally positive outlook.
Idealism: Believing things are or should be perfect or much better than they are.
Naiveté: A lack of experience or sophistication, leading to an overly simple or trusting view.
Denial: Unwillingness to accept or acknowledge unpleasant truths.
Ignoring Reality: Overlooking flaws, problems, or challenges.
Examples:
"She always looks at her past relationships through rose-colored glasses, forgetting all the arguments they used to have."
"She’s been wearing rose-colored glasses about her new business venture; she hasn't considered any of the potential financial risks."
The phrase suggests a degree of self-deception or an inability to see things objectively. While a positive outlook can be beneficial,"rose-colored glasses" implies an unrealistic or potentially harmful level of optimism that prevents one from addressing real issues.
Introduction: The Illusion of Perfection in Recovery
Recovery is a profound and life-changing journey, often filled with hope, healing, and personal transformation. In the early stages, it’s not uncommon to experience a period of euphoria or intense optimism—sometimes referred to as the “pink cloud” or “rose-colored glasses” experience. This state can feel like a well-deserved reward after years of struggle, but when it becomes a lens through which one avoids reality, it can pose hidden risks.
In this blog, we’ll explore how the rose-colored glasses experience during present-time recovery can become a set of red flags. Understanding this dynamic can help you or your clients stay grounded, make healthier decisions, and continue growing authentically.
What Are “Rose-Colored Glasses” in Recovery?
Wearing “rose-colored glasses” means viewing the world—and oneself—through an overly optimistic, idealized, or even fantasy-like perspective. In recovery, this might look like:
Believing “everything is fixed now”
Minimizing past traumas or current emotional struggles
Idealizing new relationships, jobs, or spiritual paths
Avoiding uncomfortable feelings by focusing only on the “positive”
While optimism is important, overly rosy thinking can disconnect a person from the reality of ongoing healing work.
Why It Can Be Dangerous: Hidden Red Flags
When we bypass deeper healing by clinging to idealized narratives, several red flags may arise:
1. Denial of Lingering Pain or Trauma
“I’m fine now—I don’t need therapy anymore.”
Red Flag: Avoidance of inner work and emotional processing.
2. Impatience with Discomfort
“I’ve been sober 90 days; I should be over this already.”
Red Flag: Intolerance of the slower pace of emotional or nervous system regulation.
3. Idealization of People, Places, or Programs
“This sponsor/partner/program will save me.”
Red Flag: Over-dependence on external validation or solutions.
4. Spiritual Bypassing
“I’ve turned it over to God so I shouldn’t feel anger or shame now.”
Red Flag: Using spiritual language to suppress or deny painful emotions.
5. Reactivity to Criticism or Feedback
“They just don’t understand how much I’ve changed!”
Red Flag: Defensiveness masking unresolved insecurity.
6. Fast-Tracking Recovery for Validation
“I should be coaching others by now.”
Red Flag: Using perceived ‘success’ as a distraction from vulnerability.
How to Recognize When You’ve Slipped Into Rose-Colored Thinking
You might be wearing rose-colored glasses in recovery if:
You avoid difficult conversations, even in safe spaces.
You feel disappointed when reality doesn’t match your expectations.
You judge yourself harshly for not feeling “grateful enough.”
You secretly feel like a fraud when you talk about how good things are.
You resist revisiting past wounds because it “shouldn’t matter anymore.”
How to Take Off the Glasses—Gently and Courageously
✅ Practice Emotional Honesty
Check in with yourself daily: “What am I actually feeling right now?” Let the full range of emotions be valid—even the messy ones. Feel them all and release them!
✅ Slow Down
Recovery is not a race. If you find yourself trying to prove how “healed” you are, pause. Let yourself be a work in progress.
✅ Seek Safe, Grounded Support
Therapists, coaches, sponsors, and recovery peers who reflect truth and care can help you see clearly—without judgment or distortion.
✅ Watch for Fantasy Thinking
Notice when you’re idealizing people or situations. Ask, “What’s the full picture here?” Think it all the way out just like you would think out what happens if you take a drink. Where will this realistically lead you versus the fantasy or naïve thinking you may be experiencing.
✅ Keep Your Tools Handy
Revisit journaling, step work, boundaries, inner child practices, grounding and somatic tools. These bring you back to reality with compassion.
Conclusion: Recovery Requires Both Light and Shadow
Wearing rose-colored glasses in recovery can feel good in the short term, but true healing asks for honesty, courage, and balance. Joy and grief, clarity and confusion, strength and vulnerability—all can coexist.
The goal isn't to never feel optimistic. The goal is to see clearly: to celebrate growth and stay rooted in truth. When you remove the rose-colored glasses, you give yourself the gift of real connection, lasting transformation, and empowered thriving.
At Empowering To Thrive PLLC, we specialize in supporting women who are ready to move beyond appearances and deepen their healing journey. If you recognize yourself in this post, let’s talk. You deserve recovery that’s not just picture-perfect—but powerful and real.
